I completely believe in forgiveness, in all circumstances. Why? Because I actually think it is necessary if you are going to have a healthy, flourishing life you must forgive. Here are a few observations I have about forgiveness that perhaps differ from your perspective.
- Forgiveness is a choice, it doesn’t just happen, you must choose it.
- Forgiveness is for the forgiver, not the offender.
- Forgiveness does not make what the other person did ok, it makes you free.
- Forgiveness does not always mean restoration. Sometimes what was can no longer be not because of unforgiveness but because of wisdom.
- Forgiveness, once chosen, doesn’t necessarily mean your heart will change right away. That takes time and God.
- Forgiveness is something you must do if you want to be forgiven, Matthew 6:14.
- Forgiveness is something you might need to with yourself. We often forget we need to sometimes forgive ourselves!
- Forgiveness is non negotiable if you ever want to be whole.
- Forgiveness, on occasion, has meant ME needing to forgive God. HE NEVER needs my forgiveness because He is perfect, but that’s doesn’t mean I haven’t needed to forgive Him. (This one may not sit well with you and that’s ok. If you ever experience this, you will definitely have an ahha moment!)
Forgiveness is not always easy, especially when you have been deeply wounded by someone. But there is nothing that will heal that wound like forgiveness. I actually think the wound will never heal without it. You don’t have to forgive but don’t ever expect to feel whole until you do. Remember forgiveness is something that you do for yourself. God knows what the other person has done so you don’t have to make it your mission in life to make the other person pay, that will only cost you. They will never be able to pay enough to make that wound inside of you healed. But God can heal it and that’s exactly what He wants to do but it starts with your forgiveness. Don’t be afraid to forgive because you worry it will let someone else off the hook. That is a trap of darkness. Pssst, you also don’t have to go that person and say directly to them, “I forgive you”. That might be part of the process, and it might not. Make the choice and then trust God to guide you from there! Forgiveness is where your ultimate freedom begins!